Fed Up
by westwardcircle
Summary: Matt is fed up with the pain of Mello idnoring him, so he gets revenge. Matt x Mello. Angsty. T for swearing and suicide.


**AN: **God, this sucks. It's so frikkin' cheesy. I'm going through writer's block. . But I _have _been working on Freak and I have a Wammy's House era story I should be posting soon.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Death Note, it owns me.

* * *

**Fed Up**

As I ran into the room I shared with Mello and collapsed face down on my bed I realized what I should have realized a while ago:

I'm fed up with this, with everything.

I slowly sat up and looked out the window to the group of kids playing football. Mello, my so-called best friend, was playing more violently and competitively than all the other kids. He always did things more competitively and violently, part of his mood swings and inferiority complex.

He was so obsessed with being the best. He's been slowly drifting away from me. No, he's been _forcing _himself away from me. The late-night studying, the fits over getting half a point off on tests, the obsessions with projects. It was all because of one thing, one person:

Near.

He claims to dislike him, detest him, hate him even, but I know better. I see the way he looks at him.

And I am jealous.

I know I can beat Mello, Near even, but the pain it would cause Mello…

But he deserves that pain.

The pain I have inside myself. He fucking deserves it.

He caused all of it.

So I got up and crossed the room to my desk. We had a PowerPoint presentation due tomorrow and an essay the next day. Both of them were incredibly simple and I could probably finish them within an hour.

So I got to work.

* * *

I handed Mr. Woods my flash drive and he looked at me skeptically.

"What's this?" he asked.

"My PowerPoint," I replied.

He gave me a strange look, but didn't question me further. I sat down next to Mello, who didn't give me a second glance.

"Pass your essays up," Ms. Smithson demeaned.

* * *

I handed my essay to Linda, who added it to the pile of essays on her desk. Mello looked at me (finally) with a look that read, 'You've been doing work, who the fuck are you?'

I pretended not to notice and went back to doodling in my notebook.

* * *

The rankings for the week were up, and for the first time, I was nervous. What if I _was _first? What would Mello do?

I shook my head, silencing all doubtful thoughts.

I slowly made my way to the board, ignoring the jealous and confused looks the other kids were shooting me. My eyes widened when I saw the board.

I _was _first.

Out of my peripheral vision, I could see the kids moving as if it was the parting of the red sea.

Mello was coming. I held my breath as he stood next to me. I heard a sharp intake of air and he stormed away. I reluctantly turned to follow him.

We ended up alone in our room, the church bells chiming as Mello turned to face me. My fingers twitched, I needed a cigarette.

My anxiety heightened when I saw his face. I thought he would be angry, but instead he looked…broken.

"Why?" he whispered.

"Why, goddammit?!" he yelled.

"I don't know," I whispered.

"Don't fucking lie to me!" his voice cracked as his eyes filled with tears.

"Because I wanted to hurt you!" I found myself saying, "Just like you keep hurting me!"

I was surprised by his fist connecting with my mouth.

"You bastard!" he yelled.

"How the fuck do you think I feel?!" I countered, spitting blood at him, "You always fucking ignore me! Maybe now you'll notice that I'm here!"

Maybe now…

He shoved me into the wall.

"You fucking self-centered brat!" he yelled.

"Oh, _I'm_ self-centered?!"

He kicked me in the stomach and I grabbed his leg, making him fall. I sat on him and started repeatedly punching his face.

"I'm fucking better than you!" I yelled, tears starting to fall, "I'm better than you! Deal with it! You are nothing!"

I stopped and covered my mouth, realizing what I had just said, what I was _doing_.

I had lost control, removed my happy little façade I had been keeping up.

…I hurt Mello…

He didn't move, he just stared up at me with broken eyes.

"I'm nothing…" he whispered and brought his hand up to my cheek, "I'm nothing…"

I slowly shook my head.

He brought my face closer to his.

"I am nothing…" he whispered again, "Nothing at all."

"No," I whispered, "You are _everything._"

He closed the distance between us and I could feel the dampness of his cheeks and taste the blood in from his mouth. The kiss was far too short. I got off of him and he left, leaving me alone.

…I used my smarts and brought him to that point…I'm so selfish.

I slowly turned towards the half-cracked window and looked at the ground below. I was on the fourth floor.

It was far enough.

I opened the window all the way and climbed onto it so I was sitting on the sill.

And then I leaned forward and started falling.


End file.
